when you find out that the cute guy who works at the liquor store has a crush on you so now you have to go start going to a different liquor store so he doesn’t think that you’re an alcoholic even though you kind of are

kushandwizdom:

peperomint:

me: *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* cannot believe this asshole didnt use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable

😭😭

beaky-peartree:

remember when lol meant “laughing out loud” instead of “this is to indicate that this brief text isn’t hostile”

“if you’re feeling tired and down I found a really good stretch that’ll spark you up. all you have to do is take the corners of your mouth and raise the towards the sky”

fuck off i love you you goRGEOUS human being